In Absentia

I must apologize to those who follow this blog for the lack of follow-through for the turning straight post. The continuation of my coming-to-terms story has been kept in draft for some time due to very welcome development in Lukayo's Life which I won't put much detail into but summarize as follows:

• New job in a company where I will build a career in and has taken a lot of my time in a week (36% of my week);
  
• A partner who I love (against I fell in love with, 'cause falling in love may be a prelude to falling out of love) and am thankful for being really patient and understanding despite my schedule;
• Financial strain which has placed me into perspective on what I really need against what I want;
• Slowing down my rockstar lifestyle, planning for years to come, and settling down.

I promise to release my dues once I've gotten other things (excel sheets for work) out of the way. Thanks to everyone who follow my blog - Godspeed!

Commercial Muna - Take Your Positions

Readers! This is a resurrected post from my old blog... adding a twist to the end...

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RT: Top. Bottom. Versa. Tuod Tops. Passive Bottoms. Versa Daw. Power Tops. Power Bottoms. Versa for Real. Which one are you? 8:51 AM Jun 19th from web

For some wicked reason, this list came to my mind a few weeks back. A mental note of the six permutations of top, bottom, versa, mixed with good and bad - saved online as a tweet.

• Tuod Top ang tawag sa mga tipong maghuhubad sa gilid ng kama, pagkatapos ay hihilata na lang sa kanilang likuran. Pangkaraniwan, inilalagay pa nila ang kanilang dalawang kamay sa likod ng ulo bilang senyales sa katalik na bahala ka nang magtrabaho.
• Passive Bottom naman tang tawag sa mga tipong maghuhubad sa gilid ng kama, pagkatapos ay hihilata na lang sa kanilang likuran at bubukaka. Tulad ng mga tuod top, huwag kang mag-expect ng romansa mula sa mga ito sa kadahilanang nagpapaanak lamang ang mga ito sa kanilang pagaakalang may mga matres sila.
• Versa Daw ang tawag sa mga hindi alam kung ano ba talaga sila sa kama. Paminsan minsan nasa ibabaw, minsan sa ilalim. Ang kaibahan lang sa totoong versa ay hindi nila kayang gampanan ang bawat posisyon. Marunong mangromansa ang mga versa daw at sa paglipas ng panahon ay maaaring maging tunay na versa.
• Power Top naman ang tawag sa mga kantuterong marunong gumamit sa kanilang mga sandata. Pangkaraniwang nagsisimula sa long and gentle strokes papunta sa kantot marinong short and sharp strokes. Hindi lahat ng power top ay rumoromansa, sumususo, brumobrotsa, at sumisisid (rimming). Bonus na lang iyon if ever!
  
• Power Bottoms naman ang tawag sa mga kinakantot na marunong mag-muscle control at saluhin ang kahit na gaano kalaking titi. Mayroon pa sa kanilang kayang sumalo higit sa isa. Kaya ng isang power bottom na mawalan ng ulirat ang kanyang partner sa kama. Marami sa mga power bottom ang sumususo at kung anu-ano pa.
• Versa for real ang tawag sa mga marunong mambutas at nabubutasan sa kama. Tingin ko, malupit na sex mate ang isang versa for real lalu na't kung open-minded at may pagkawild ang mga ito. Ang tanging dala ng mga versa ay kanilang flexibility at openness sa pagpapaligaya ng kapwa.

The above doesn't intend to be prescriptive of the six permutations that came to mind. Some commenters might complain about boxing up certain types... but this is just for fun mind you. So... out of the six? Which one are you? ;-)

END

Need your thoughts on roles in bed and how this affects the dynamics of a relationship. Do TOP2TOP relationships work? Do BOT2BOT relationships work? From your own experience, how important is sexual role compatibility in making or breaking a relationship?

Hope to hear from you guys soon...

Prologue: Turning Straight

Is it just me or are there more gays or people-like-us nowadays? In the malls, one can observe more and more guy/guy or girl/girl couples - sharing a meal, shopping together, or a date at the movies. Buff boys in the gym hook up with equally buff boys, leaving out the women and matrona clientele. Online, you now see more choices of hook-ups - from twinks to bodybuilders, ages May to December, with different fetishes.

Methinks that this phenomenon results from the younger generation being more open with their sexuality (which osmosed to the older generation). Rewind to freshman year when gays/PLUs in my campus was limited to the stereotype flam-effeminate. They were the standard-bearers of what a gay man was. Fast-forward to senior and super-senior year - you'd have straight-looking guys holding hands, lipstick lesbians publicly displaying affection, and same-sex couples exchanging sweet nothings in the library.

I was caught in the cusp when the tides were changing. Being part of the 'older generation', I find myself in the closet but with a full-view of things that are happening outside. And I guess this would be a great vantage point which influenced my decision to turn straight into the PLU world...

Next post: On Coming In and Out

This Way or That Way?

In my previous post, I mentioned that I've been doing a lot of thinking discernment. A slew of career opportunities have come along and given my age, I should choose wisely. Whilst I'm grateful for all of them, it doesn't help that the choices all present very promising paths.

The question may be summed as follows, do I know live the dream or take up the challenge? Must I begin to Build or once again trail-blaze?

Since college, I've dreamed of being part of this organization. My first application didn't even get me the call from HR. The second time I applied, the director mentioned my lack of experience. Third time's a charm and a paper is on its way this week.

But another organization is putting me up for a challenge. The local market has proven to be saturated for this local giant. Part of its strategy is to conquer the globe and build a global presence. And they need warm bodies to take up this challenge and create the global brand.

On my end, it's a question of building or trail-blazing. The former would enable me to build expertise on a certain area which is the battleground or forefront for most companies in that industry. Further, if ever I decide to migrate it would be easier to get a job given their global reach. The latter would enable me to stretch myself once again in a field that I have little expoosure in. Further, if I decide to stick with them I would be a pioneer and one who can possibly leave a legacy.

So do I follow the dream or take up the challenge? Build or trail-blaze?

Your Number Two

Disclaimer: I've been receiving offline messages through Y!M asking if I'm ok and why the emo posts. I'd like to clarify that this isn't really an emo post but rather a "eh kung ganun talaga post". LOLs

I dislike how cranial I can become when faced with a problem or situation. Ever since, I've been a problem solver who'd look from different angles to try to come up with a solution. I've held this belief that there is more than one way to arrive at the solution. However, this presupposes that there is a solution or that the problem needs to be solved.

Recently, i've been thinking too much. Blame it on opportunities that are coming along (which am thankful for) but moments of thought have also been invested in my so-called lovelife (or lack thereof). I've noticed a pattern on past potential partners - that most are either taken, already have prospects, or strings from the past. This made me think that I may be actually the one with the problem - that I attract those kind of men.

Instead of fixing the problem, I've succumbed to the idea that I might as well just be the kabit and that prudence would prescribe that I abide by these rules... and be your number 2.

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Inspired by my own personal experience and this honest-to-the-bones post.

In a Weird Space

...urong sulong na lang ba?

Breaking Down Love

Bakit ba mahilig gawing kumplikado ng mga tao ang LOVE na yan?

Simple lang naman. Gusto mo, mahal mo, eh di go! Magkabayag ka na sabihin sa kanya yun... huwag ka gagamit ng pagpapahiwatig at pahapyaw-hapyaw dahil hindi naman likas na manghuhula ang mga tao.

Kung ayaw sa iyo eh di huwag pilitin ang sarili. Magkabayag ka na piliting tanggapin ang pangyayari at mag-laan ng oras para maghilom at magmove-on. Bakit? Siya lang ba tanging lalaki na magpapatibok sa puso mo at magpapakislot sa puson mo? Buksan ang mata at marami pang iba diyan.

Kung may gusto din sa iyo at mahal ka din, eh di go! As long as kaya mong saluhin at pangatawanan yung relasyon ninyong dalawa. Umiwas na sa paghanap ng iba o paghagilap sa nakaraang tapos na. So what kung higit ang pagmamahal nung isa sa isa? Bottomline naman eh mahal ninyo ang isa't isa at hindi ang iba iba. Sapat na dapat yun para ituloy ninyo ang inyong pangroromansa.

Kung sa isang banda ay magising ka isang umaga at alam mong wala na talaga, huwag nang sayangin ang panahon nung isa. Magkabayag kang sabihing wala na talaga at huwag nang umasa pa. Masakit man sa isa, gawin ito para sa ikabubuti niya. Pakawalan habang maaga pa.

Kung sa isang banda ay nagigising ka sa alaala ng nakaraan at parating bumabagabag ito sa iyo, eh gawan mo ng paraan yan para makapagmove-on ka na talaga. Pilit itatak sa utak na never ka naman na talaga makakakilala ng taong katulad niya dahil isa lang talaga siya (unless na may kambal siya - joke onli!). Pilit lunukin lahat ng pait na meron ka sa kanya para ma-i-ebak mo na lang yan isang araw. Pilit panghawakan ang mga panahong masasaya pero huwag gawin itong batayan para sa mga posibleng masasayang araw na kapiling na ng bagong darating. Buksan ang mata, wala ka na sa piling niya at maging fair ka sa taong kinakasama mo ngayon.

Kung sa isang banda ay nagising ka sa isang umagang ma-realize na mahal mo pa din talaga ang nakaraan miski naloko mo na ang sariling mong nakapagmove-on ka na, eh dalawang bagay lang naman ang pwede mong gawin talaga. Una, magpakatotoo ka't sabihin sa kanya ang tunay na nararamdaman. Kung may tingin pa siya sa iyo eh di good, eh kung wala talaga eh magmove-on ka na talaga! Pangalawa, manahimik ka na lang diyan at magmove-on ka na talaga - kawawa ka naman kung buong mundo tuloy-tuloy sa pag-ikot samantalang ikaw ay naiwang nakatali sa nakaraang lumipas na. Mas lalong nakakalungkot kung yung nakaraan mo'y tuloy-tuloy na sa kanyang pag-ariba.

Kung mangangarir ka lang naman, sabihin na sa simula pa lang na kantutan lang naman ang hanap mo. Tulad ng sabi ko sa nakaraang post ko, sa ganito mas madaling kumaripas patungo sa fire exit kung hindi mo na talaga kaya ang init. Kung isang araw eh ma-realize mo na mahal mo na pala siya pero hindi ka sineseryoso eh magkabayag ka nang sabihin sa kanya na nag-iba ang pagtingin mo. Kung mahal ka din niya eh di go, kung mukha ka lang tite sa kanya eh di tuloy na lang ang kantutan.

Sa pag-ibig na iyan, malaki ang posibilidad na may masaktan talaga. Pero eh kung ganun naman talaga... basta, maghanda ka na lang lagi sa tinatawag nilang Karma kung may masasaktan kang iba.

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Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan huwag magagalit. Sabi nga ng Sprite, magpakatotoo ka!